I read through Nova's biography again yesterday. They all leave such huge impacts on our lives, we could write whole books about them. Sometimes people do. I've always made it a practice to take a picture of all my furkids at least once a month. Each one has their own file. Some of the files have hundreds of pictures. Some weren't with me very long and there are only 2 or 3. Some didn't even live long enough to have names. I could have written a book about each. Even those who didn't live long enough to be named could rate their own chapters.
I've lost them in every conceivable way, through long illnesses, short illnesses, suddenly and unexpectedly, through accidents, dogs, cars, rain and cold, and sometimes they simply disappeared. I've never been the least bit religious. None of it ever made the least bit of sense to me, but out of desperation even I've tried bargaining and pleading with whatever just might possibly be out there. Of course, it never worked. But it does show we'd be willing to do whatever we could to save them, to make them happy. We would do anything for them, and we do. I wish things could be different. John
Monday my second call to mom’s nursing home to talk to her (I try to call her 1 - 2 times a day, though it is not always possible due to my time OR mom is asleep or eating), for the first time in (I believe) a year or more, I was greeted by someone very close to my MOTHER, not the person with dementia unable to have a proper conversation, the person who can be mean and hurtful or the person who slurs and can hardly speak. I was so grateful for that. I needed to talk to "my mother" and there she was! WOW. I have talked about Nova and Andromeda to her for a little while, but she did not really grasp what was going on or would say things that hurt (not with intent) or would just not understand and ramble on with unrelated things. She understood, had my mother’s voice, tone and was able to think pretty well. I was able to talk to her and cry about Nova and Andromeda. That evening Nova and Andie had a better evening than usual also. I have spent the last few months going through the usual gambit of begging, pleading, bargaining, trying to guilt and threatening God over my mother, Andromeda, Nova (and last year Orion). I know that the events will not change and I am grateful for the call on Monday and that evening. This morning, Nova ate ¼ can of K/D and had some Oralade! It sounds like nothing, but he has refused K/D for months and did not like the the Hydracare and Oralade, so would eat none. This week we has been down to eating less than a ¼ - ½ can (5oz can) of food a day and is so thin it makes me cry to see him, but he ate for me this morning. I like to think I was granted a better start to the day than it could have been.
I could not face work today through Friday and so I took off. My HPE is to spend as much time with Nova today as he allows and with Andie tomorrow. Aside from eating for me, he allowed me to lay with him a bit and brush him. I am now on the bed and he is in the window on a cat bed, sleeping. The only thing that could make this moment nicer is if it were sunny and he would lay in the sun there, but it is drizzling and grey out, but he seems to not care.
Nova has been such a friend these last 17 years, from the day the young stray jumped into my arms on the deck to today. I always told him that he is the most wonderful orange and white long haired cat ever, and he is.
I will be losing one of my most trusted friends today. I Pray I have made the right decision. Nova, I love you so much and my heart will now have a new cat sized hole in it tonight.