Oh Tim, I’m so very sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking.
When I took care of ferals, I once had as many as 22. I actually took care of far more than 22 over time. Some would come and some would go. Some died of natural causes, some by accidents and new ones would come and take their place. The last of the colony was wiped out by dogs and it happened very quickly.
I deeply loved every one and wished I could bring them inside where they'd be safe and comfortable but of course, there were just too many. No matter how hard I tried, there were still accidents and the "what ifs" can still bring me to tears. I took so many in to be spayed or neutered that the vet was actually giving me a discount! I knew the risks. A friend of mine lost one to a subsequent infection and the pain was just unbearable. It just reminds us that life is not fair, no matter how hard we try to make it that way.
Even though I couldn't possibly have saved them all, no matter how careful I was, I still blame myself for all their losses, all their discomforts, whatever pain they suffered, and sometimes it feels like the guilt weighs a ton. Intellectually, I know I did the best I could, but at heart, it feels like I should have done more. We can't feel guilty about not having the supernatural powers it would require to make everything perfect...but I know we still do. John
What shelter did you get her at? Can you give me the weburl?
David and the CoolCyberCats
Tim, it is in no way your fault. Sadly, some horrible and random things happen in life. Yes, you will hurt for a long time (I still sting from ^Itchy^and that was 14 years ago), but you gave her a chance at a life that she would not have had. I also know that anything I or anyone else here says will make you chane your mind, but I think deep down you realize.
Hugs, and cry here and talk here all you need to about her and for ever. You have people here who understand and want to listen and allow you to cray on our shoulders.
Thanks Peggy John and David but as I said I will never get over this loss just a baby and so full of life and my fault that she is gone. Tim
Oh, Tim, I'm so very sorry for your loss. She was so cute. Comforting purrs and hugs.
Peggy, Laila and Angel Minchie